Birthdate: September 4, 1969
Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Sex: M
Height: 5'-8"
Weight: 155 lb.
Loki embarked on a stunt career early on, barreling down the notorious Devil's Hill with a soap box derby racer (a feat which nearly killed him the first time he tried it). He won the 1981 Detroit Soap Box Derby championship, then repeated the feat at the more prestigious Akron event. Loki engaged in many other dangerous pastimes as a youth, including fencing and skateboarding. When pressed about the chances of death, he snapped, "who care about risk? I just want FAME!"
That all changed in early 1984, as Loki found fame, or rather notoriety, thrust upon him. In doing routine school research on Teutonic mythology, Kano discovered her friend shared his name with the god of war who would aid in the destruction of the world. As her report stated:
Loki was a wise, skilled, and evil god who could change form at will. He is best known for his murder of Balder, in which he was punished by being chained to a rock with serpent venom dripping down on him. Loki would eventually free himself to aid a band of giants in a war against gods and goddesses from Asgarus called Ragnarok. Everyone involved in the battle will be killed, and the world will be destroyed by fire.
Union's response: "I never knew Loki was literally an Adolf Hitler."
Loki, in reality, was NOT named after the god, but the circumstantial evidence proved overwhelming, and he simply could not prove his innocence in a court of law. Sentenced to death on infinite counts of attempted murder and reckless endangering, Loki met his sizzling demise in the electric chair. With Loki reduced to a smouldering pile of ashes, Union deposited his remains over the Pacific Ocean.
But in an incredible turn of events still unexplained by modern science, Loki's comatose body floated towards shore, where boaters found and rescued him three weeks later. Does that prove Loki indeed is a god after all? Perhaps, but not necessarily an evil one. Is there a moral here? Does the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover" mean anything? Maybe, maybe not.
Surprisingly, Loki does not hold a grudge against his fellow Unions, even Kano and Union, for deserting him in his hour of greatest need. He instead levels full blame against the judicial system, accusing it of ruining the lives of innocent people while letting the real criminals escape scotfree. He also blames the media for spreading vicious lies and not giving him any platform for defense. The happy-go-lucky kid became a jaded, vengeful, and somewhat hate-mongering adult.
Loki turned his life towards combating evil and unmasking truth as an investigative journalist, first by founding the Glitch Patrol, with himself, Kano, and Damson as a quasi-military troop dealing unmercifully with dog owners who would not curb their dogs - and sometimes the dogs themselves. The three of them pursued and found Elvis - or rather, his bones - in the basement of an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas, who they tortured a confession from by subjecting him to endless playbacks of Elvis movies. The trio went public with their findings, but the government stepped in and suppressed all evidence. Loki wrote an award-winning expose on Popeye, attacking him for endorsing Quaker Instant Oatmeal while publically forsaking spinach in the process (the fact that Popeye "muscled" in on Damson's territory no doubt fanned the flames). Loki's calling enables him to "get back" at evil-doers.