Birthdate: April 1, 1971
Birthplace: Los Angeles, CA
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Sex: M
Height: 5'-8"
Weight: 139 lb.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID!
Certified by the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's stupidest (fully-developed) human, Fan boasts of an I.Q. of -14 but is not "mentally retarded." A constant butt of jokes wherever he goes, Fan's follies are the stuff of legend. A stint in a mental institution in 1986 demonstrated Fan was neither insane nor retarded, just colossally stupid.
Fan openly invites the rage of all his fellow Unions, his banality bordering on pure evil in how he shamelessly inflicts the end results of his actions on others, to the point where Union once offered a million dollars in a "Kill Fan Stupid" contest. Bobo won the prize but sadly could not claim the real reward, as the wounds proved relatively superficial, and Fan's reign of mindless terror continued.
For those people who find themselves hopelessly stuck with someone who openly and regularly invites the cry, "how could you be so stupid?", Fan provides comic relief by showing that things could actually be worse. For those at the receiving end of such lashings, take heart.
Examples of Fan's legendary stupidity abound. When Signal mouthwash used the slogan, "Kiss me, I got the Signal," Fan got his signals crossed and kissed the TV screen. He once painted his house with over 640 billion stolen bottles of Liquid Paper.
Fan's preschool classmates linger in fear from him, frightened not so much by the presence of a twenty-something in their classroom and on their playground, but by the pain and destruction he inflicts. When he imitates a five-year-old kicking another, he imitates what he sees 1) without motive and 2) without realizing that he is not five years old himself. Going to summer school provides no escape from his torment, nor does a retreat to Camp Mento, where Fan once left a trail of terror that scarred both kids and counselors alike.
Fan believes he once met space aliens who beamed him aboard their flying saucer after he licked a "postage" stamp. Only the LSD fairy knows for sure.