Condors

"Yes, I think so. He said that anything which you said was off-the- record could not be attributed to you under any circumstances. I do take confidentiality seriously, and I think I can write my article so as to give the impression that I was getting information from other anonymous sources."

"Good. There may be a few things I tell you that I do not want repeated at all, on or off the record. Is that understood?"

"Yes."

"Then you may proceed with your questions."

"Let me check my notes... Let's see. Am I correct that this all started out as an attempt to preserve the California Condor?"

"Yes. As you are probably aware, the loss of genetic diversity due to extinctions has been a serious concern to scientists in a variety of disciplines. One of the new tacks which some scientists have been taking is to try to preserve the DNA -- the genetic inheritance -- of species which are on the brink of extinction."

"Would it be fair to describe this as a hopeful new development?"

"More of a desperate last stand, I'm afraid. No one really knows whether we will ever be able to recreate a lost species purely from samples of its DNA. This was one of the reasons we considered Dr. Zymos's proposal to be so promising. As you may or may not know, attempts to reintroduce captive condors to the wild have been disastrous. They are simply not able to cope with the terrible changes to the California ecology. The same is true of the dwindling population of Andean condors."

"I had read something about that, yes. I gather the birds are very vulnerable to psychological shocks. What was Dr. Zymos's proposal, specifically?"

"He proposed, first, that we continue to raise a captive population of condors, so that their original genetic material would remain intact; second, that we take a separate population and attempt some minor modifications to their genetics which would render them more adaptable to the present situation, so that they could be re-released. A kind of accelerated evolution, if you will. He proposed some very reasonable specific suggestions."

"Could you go into some detail, before we move on?"

"Let me see if I can recall the original list. First, some importation of certain Andean condor chromosomes purely for diversity. The breeding population of California Condors is so small that they had lost most of the diversity needed for a vital species. Second, some modifications to their brain and limbic system, based on recently completed gene maps of the gray parrot. The gray parrot is an extremely intelligent bird; if one may speak of a bird as psychologically resilient and resourceful, I think that is an appropriate description. He hoped that this would make the Condor more adaptable. Third, he wanted to increase its fertility so that it could cope with a higher fatality rate in this rather risky modern world of ours."

"Did he hint at his later plans?"

"Well... he had a few vague platitudes in there about increasing predatory efficiency and enhancing its natural defenses, but nothing specific. I want to emphasize that quite strongly. He did not write, or speak to any scientist whom I have had contact with, about his actual plans. Let me also say that we were quite elated to have a scientist of Dr. Zymos's caliber working on this project. His talent was legendary, and his devotion to birds was also well known throughout the scientific community. Perhaps that led us to be insufficiently careful in our oversight of this project."

"Alright. Let me skip forward now to a few months ago, when Professor Zymos died. Was it in fact a heart attack? I have heard claims of suicide."

"No. I think that only someone very foolish who did not understand the situation could have claimed such a thing. It was definitely a heart attack. What do you expect when a man in his 50's spends every night out dancing with this college student girlfriend of his, at these all night 'raves' as they call them. He was simply asking for a heart attack. And if I may say so, I think it was a very fortunate thing for all of us."

"I have heard claims that Professor Zymos had been taking this 'Ecstasy' and other drugs on a regular basis. Do you have any comments on this?"

"Officially, on the record, I think that there is no evidence of any such thing. After all, many people go out dancing without taking any drugs. Off the record -- I wish you to understand, this may not be attributed to me -- off the record, I think it would explain a lot. Look what he was doing -- he was a genius, but he was doing insane things. Only he could have done them, though."

"Now this is where all my previous sources have gone vague. What exactly was he doing?"

"He was modifying the condor's genetic material. I have read through his notes, over and over. He wanted to prove that he could produce a predatory bird that would compete in the modern world, and he wished to do so in the most thorough way. Oh, he had condors in the lab that had received the initial modifications he had proposed, but those were just for show. His real attentions were elsewhere."

"But what exactly did he do?"

"Alright, I will tell you. First, he made all of the changes I had stated above, only more so. They would have been larger and sturdier, like the Andean Condor, and extremely fertile, raising two large broods every season. They would have had the condor's sharp senses, but the brain size and organization of the grey parrot. Have I mentioned that grey parrots are considered close to chimpanzees in intelligence? Finally, they would have had an extremely strong immune system to equip them to resist disease and pollution. That was the first round of changes. Then he began the second round. I must insist, I can find no evidence that anyone other than Dr. Zymos had any inkling of these changes. I mean, I would not have believed it was possible to do what he was doing by genetic surgery."

"Is this off the record?"

"No, no, I suppose it's better the public know. There will be hell to pay, but I believe it is time to have public debate on such things. I never would have thought such a thing before, but there it is. Where was I? Oh yes, composite plastics."

"What?"

"He worked out a way to modify some of the follicular cells so that instead of producing feathers, they would produce a composite plastic material -- keratin fibers, thin bone-like crystals, all glued together in an epoxy-like matrix. He believed that the condors would fare better with light-weight body armor. It's unbelievable. No one else would have dreamed such a thing, let alone accomplished it. I examined a full-grown one in the isolation cages when I took over the lab; its chest plates would stop a .32 caliber bullet."

"You're joking."

"Oh, that was only the beginning. He made the beak and claws sharper and stronger, of course; that was minor. He made their olfactory sense and their eyesight sharper too. Those genes weren't even mapped! Somehow he enhanced their ability to smell blood; we think he was working with modified shark genes from a research lab in Monterey. Everyone was honored to have the famous Dr. Zymos take an interest in their work! And their sensitivity to the color red, too. He wanted them attracted to animals that were already wounded, so that they would have an easy time finding prey."

"But surely a condor couldn't attack an animal of any size?"

"Oh, the Andean condors have reliably been reported to carry off small children occasionally, and dogs quite often. Let me say that I would not have wanted to face one myself, even without their chemical weapons."

"Chemical?" "Yes. I think this -- off the record -- is where we can see that his mind was truly beginning to deteriorate under the drugs. He enhanced their ability to generate scent --"

"Like a skunk?"

"No, not like a skunk! Let me finish, damn it. He enhanced and altered it, combining it with the endorphin synthesis structures present in all higher animals. The endorphins are chemicals like opiates; they are drugs. His vision was that the condors would be able to subdue animals by sweeping over them, spraying them with these natural opiates so as to leave their victims totally dazed and unable to defend themselves. Then they would feed. Perhaps this led him to his last modification -- god knows it makes no sense. THC."

"THC?"

"Tetra-hydro-cannabinol. The chief ingredient in marijuana. He somehow managed to incorporate the plant genes into their chromosomes. He made them to synthesize it into their bloodstream, so they would be stoned all the time. It makes no sense at all biologically, it's a sick joke."

"So what would he have done with these condors? Put them in a freak show?"

"Don't you understand? He planned to release them into the wild, in the California hills and the Rocky Mountains. It would have been a disaster. We would never have been able to find them all and eradicate them fast enough. Then, once they bred sufficiently to move into inhabited areas -- can you imagine it? A car accident on a lonely stretch of road, the driver or passengers bleeding, and the condors smell it from a thousand feet up. A flock of stoned condors -- giant, armored, stoned condors -- swooping low over them and spraying them until they are unable to resist, and then feeding upon them. It's a nightmare."

"My god."

"We would never have found out in time if he had not had that heart attack. I am not a religious man, but I think it was the hand of God. His notes say he was planning to release the first breeding pairs in May. When I took charge of the institute and saw what he had done, there was only one thing I could do. Despite what the animal rights groups have said, all the government pressure on me was to preserve them. The military wanted to evaluate them for training and use in missions, but I would not -- I could not -- allow the chance of their being accidentally or deliberately released."

"I don't see how anyone sane could blame you. I will be calling you to verify my quotes before my editor runs the story, and... thank you, professor."

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