The Song Of The Universe

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

You are my Soul
To Jachil
Song for the Earth
A Path of Light
I Shall Never Taste
The Beloved
The Beloved: A Reply
Elegy for Kathy
Elegy for Lahe
The Dark Moon I
The Dark Moon II
Atlantean Memories
Her Eyes
In Your Hands
In Pablo Neruda’s Footsteps
Too Much to Ask
One Day
Hold Me One Last Time
You are within my Soul
Sings from her Heart
I am the Wolverine
The Werewolf, For Shea
My Opposite
For Debra
The Bee
I Speak With Trees
St. Patrick and the Elves
To My Beloved
Song of the Sea
The Undine
An Undine’s Prayer
The Feeling of a Woman
Women and the Sea
Psalm for the Sea
Song of Fire
My Lover
Itumo
The Pools of Makapu’u
The Goddess Dawn
The Goddess of the Cauldron
The Song of Psyche
Sex
Orion
A Celtic Prayer
A Request
My Life Koan
The Cosmic Letter UE
The Cosmic Letter U
Song of Baleem
Jacob’s Angel
The Goddess of the Earth
The Goddess of Compassion
A Psalm of Praise (To St. Columba)
Vehuiah--What is Like Unto God?
For Ebvep
My Consort--To Hagiel
Your Soul
Samhuinn

An Essay--How to Write a Poem

INTRODUCTION

All of the poems in this book were written under the inspiration of a Muse which the earthzone spirit Zagriona found for me. I had not written poetry in many years, but after a few meditations with Zagriona I felt compelled to write poems every day. I would wake from sleep and have to write. I would write with tears falling from my eyes. I would write speaking of feelings I have never felt in this life.

This Muse is somewhat unusual. Let me comment on this. In life, most of us have difficulties of some kind with relationships. We all know what it is to feel close to another person. Some have felt at times that they are one with the other person. Love involves joining and union.

Nonetheless, even the greatest lovers have to solve problems on a conscious level. We have different ways of thinking, different experiences, different expectations, hopes, dreams, and desires. In a real relationship, solving problems and overcoming conflicts requires conscious activity. You have to talk and communicate with each other. You have to explain your differences, negotiate, and form agreements.

But the conscious mind also has severe limitations. We have personal boundaries and these boundaries protect us from excessive pain, vulnerability, and from being helpless. A bardic magician or a poet skilled in magick, however, can temporarily suspend or overcome these limitations and boundaries. We expect this from art and magick--it should be able to tell us what it is to cross over into the unknown and return. It should be able to tell us what it is to be so consumed by love that nothing of the self remains.

In one version of the story, Merlin taught King Arthur as a child to transfer his mind into every animal and this so he could understand other’s motives and so rule effectively as a king. In basic magick training, you learn to project your mind into every aspect of nature, into other human beings, and every kind of spirit. You do this so you can serve, so the inspiration of Divine Providence overflows from your heart.

For my Muse, there seems to be this rule: you are free to join with and become one with any being, spirit, or thing in the universe in order to fulfill the purposes of love. In this joining, there is no separation. There is only oneness. This means that at least in terms of feelings, intuition, energy, and perspective, two individuals or spirits temporarily can so unite that all their memories, their abilities, their sensations, and modes of consciousness are completely available to each other.

If you consider human lovers, even the best, there is this incredible jealously and selfishness which exists when they attain oneness with each other. Because when they taste that oneness and bliss of union, they are also simultaneously in that moment extremely vulnerable. This degree of intimacy, if violated, would subject them to great pain and also a loss of personal power--a feeling of betrayal, defeat, and helplessness.

But this instinct of self-preservation is understandable. Most individuals’ self-awareness derives from being a member of a society. They do not identify with stars, black holes, the emptiness of space, the elements of nature, and light in every vibration both visible and invisible. But my Muse does. For him, there is only oneness. He is there for every being in the universe. It matters not to what galaxy, planet, or race they belong.

In a story I wrote about an ancient bard, this Muse speaks these words to the poet, “Was not the constellation of Aquarius placed within the sky to remind every being of friendship? Does not Aquarius exist so that when one heart calls out to another, a kindred spirit may be found even amid the darkest wilderness? And is there not a life form dwelling within the oceans of your world, a species of whale which like nomads travel one to the North Pole and another to the South Pole? And if a whale losses its path, still, it is welcomed by the other band and journeys on to the other end of the world. Because of the loneliness you have endured, your songs shall arise from the hearts of stars and my blood shall mix with your own for we are now brothers.”

In the human world and in society, love is carefully defined and greatly restricted. There are no such restrictions in the spiritual world. Love is without limitation. It encompasses the universe and everything within it.

In a nutshell, my poems often derive from this perspective. Sometimes if only for a moment or instant, I am one with another person, spirit, or aspect of nature. All that it is and all that I am are perfectly joined--all memories, thoughts, feelings, energies, abilities--in that moment all that we are flows freely from heart to heart. This is a creative act and it naturally involves a joining of opposites. Whether this offends the laws of morality or not, it fulfills the purposes of love by reminding us that nothing is separate and ultimately we are all one.

I introduce many of the poems with explanations of how I wrote them, their source of inspiration, or the stories where I have placed them. Art serves a very important purpose for a magician. When you have sources of inspiration which are not recognized by traditional religions, it is especially important to find a way to share your experience. This is so you can avoid the acute isolation which arises from having profound and overwhelming experiences which few may understand. And in sharing you find others who desire to share in return. You create your own community and build a new place where the sacred is honored. Music, drawing, painting, sculpture, drama, stories, poetry, etc. are means through which this can be accomplished.

Nineteen of the fifty-nine poems in this book were written while meditating with various elemental beings or higher spirits. But for me, there is often little difference between interacting with human beings and interacting with spirits. I give a practical example of this in the essay at the end of this book called, How to Write a Poem. The poem in this essay was written while listening to a song sung by Karen Matheson. Writing a poem while meditating with a spirit can be done in exactly the same way.

THE SONG OF THE UNIVERSE

I awoke from a nap one year on Beltane and wrote the following poem. I sometimes like to place my poems within a mythical landscape in order to give them a home when it is clear to me that they do not belong to this world. It took me years, but I gave this poem to the consort of He’adra in the story, The Fall of Atlantis. He’adra was the most powerful magician to ever appear within human history and his consort was his inspiration. She speaks this poem to He’adra at the moment of her death--”when she awoke”--and as she begins a spiritual journey crossing many lifetimes until that day when she will find He’adra again.

You Are My Soul When she awoke she turned to me and said: You are my soul. My first breath in the light of dawn And all my dreams at night I dedicate to you, my Beloved. When I shove off and depart for unknown shores Your inspiration guides my craft Flows with force through my sails. You are the electricity in my heartbeat The separate fibers of my being Unite around my love for you, The surge, the pulse, the wave The circle of life within my body Ride upon my desire to hold you within my heart. My love for you is as deep as the sky More vast than the winds That caress the seas in ecstasy. Softer in flight Than the moon's light My body yields to you As I spiral and turn Caught in the currents Of your smile As I drift into a sea Of pure bliss When I enfold you in my arms. Desert sands of Haleakala Russet, crimson, citrine Parched, dry, burning Yearn with volcanic craving Solidified rock Once flowed molten, liquid Lit with tongues of flame, Yet Haleakala is but a small reflection A small reminder Of the fire with which I burn for your touch. Reflected in your eyes I become a purity Acid can not etch Time can not drown Space can not hide. I am luminous light The transparency Shining in all colors The dreams that yield their visions to me Of birth, of galaxies colliding, Of seas turning into wine These are your gifts to me When I hold you close to me at night. Back to Index * * *

This next poem also appears within the story, The Fall of Atlantis. He’adra writes it for his consort at the moment he is chosen as high priest of Atlantis. I wrote this poem while meditating with the earthzone spirit named Jachil who presides over the fourth degree of Cancer. Like many earthzone spirits, he specializes in human and divine love. I did not notice anything special about this poem until a friend emailed me and said she had framed it and placed it on her wall.

To Jachil When you are in my arms My wounds are healed My dreams fulfilled Our lips touch Moonlight illuminates your naked skin I no longer know who I am The sun glides through the sky Deer graze in the meadow I am mesmerized. The present moment fades The moon sets her sails to the solar wind My hands glide upon your skin The sun drowns as we kiss In the darkness of night to be reborn at dawn Our hips join As the stream winds through the crevice of the valleys Mirth and laughter splashing down As the sea enfolds the mountains in her depths The whale's song echoing through the hills Geese fly across the moon The leaves of birch trees shiver A solitary bird sings Cats' paws ripple upon the lake The gusts of wind pulsate Your breasts pressed against my chest Your love shapes my life As the hands of the sculptor Mold the clay, Closing her eyes The harpist plays The notes of the song within her heart. Back to Index *       *       *
I think of the Earth and every planet where there is life as a Goddess, as the consort of God, the Creator of the universe. No religion or world teacher may appear on this planet without Her permission. I sometimes meet Her in my dreams or when I am meditating.   She holds in Her heart the visions of what we are a race may attain.

Song for the Earth May peace be upon the Earth May Her beauty Be within me and radiate from me May I shine with Her light May She shine from my eyes May I speak from out of Her silence May She resonate from within my voice May I merge with Her lands May She flow without ceasing through my body and my hands May I never be separate from Her: From Her forests and Her mountains, From Her lakes, Her rivers, Her seas, From Her silence and Her mysteries. May every breath take me deeper within Her wisdom And may I always share in joyful Celebration With all those who are close to Her. Back to Index *       *       *

This poem also belongs to the story, The Fall of Atlantis, and was written by He’adra to his consort. As a writer of mythology, I imagine fantastic characters who do not belong to our world. But this poem was inspired by a real individual whose power and fate were more fascinating and complex than any character I had imagined in my stories.

A Path of Light Dream images flowing between our minds Our hearts searching for a higher love, a path of pure light But one holding the needs and passions of our bodies within it I feel so naked and lonely Wrap me about with your love With your sensual beauty That I can touch with my hands As I search for you amid The hills, ravines, and valleys of your skin One I can taste with my lips As I float in lakes and rest in meadows Hidden within sacred mountain domains As my mouth burns with ancient hungers And is soothed by your softness As you allow yourself to burn As my lips join with your breasts One I can smell as I lose myself in your hair Your arms, your thighs The aroma of liquor Flowers of delight within the oasis Within the gardens where you are the goddess One I can enter A moist wetness I can slide down into And forget my sorrow, One so caressing, so gentle, so tender You are willing to bind together the flames Rising, exploding, and imploding within our desire The Northern Lights, the stars and moonlight, Dawn and twilight, Green leaves, coral sunsets, the darkest nights, A sea with a thousand rainbow colors dancing upon it That all those journeys I took where I lost my way Will now dissolve They will be afraid of this love and flee They will depart from me forever As I touch your body and your skin As I touch your soul and the light within As our hearts reach out and shelter each other's. Back to Index * * *
Composed to the song, La Rosa Enforece in the album, Mystica Rosa by Theresa Schroeder-Sheker. This poem is from the story, The Bard, and was written by the warrior priest named Hirah. He composed it while observing the most sacred ritual in his world performed once every ten years. In the ritual, a young woman embodies the Goddess of the Earth during her dance.

I Shall Never Taste I saw a naked woman dancing a slow, hypnotic dance In a kingdom of my imagination so far away It is not found in any myth or religion. Your hips rising upon the air As a breath on a path of love Flies on wings to the heart of God. Your thighs circling, molded As a sea of sand dunes sculptured by the wind An intimate caress My palm will never find Flowing upon your skin. Your hips embraced By shadow and light Drinking as an elixir The secret places of your delight I shall never taste your lips Nor the rhythm of the sea Flowing around your thighs Though I drown in a sea of bliss Though ecstasy be my wine. Space itself curls and turns Lost on dark pathways Gateways Eternity can only find Within this moment As your body rising now descends. Your face moving mysteriously, eyes closed Yet lit from deep within Whispers names Of ancient powers men have long forgotten. Your hands, your fingers Adrift on the winds my soul will never know Sail as moonlight through white winters Sail as twilight through my dark desires. You hum, Your passion glistening on your skin And your scent Shakes me as you pierce me deep within My nerves scream like rivers running From the tallest mountains Evaporating and lost Amid the desert's red dunes Your body pulses The music undulating Enchanted by your skin My heart beats But I can not find the way, My soul sleeps, a lion in his jungle Still, I can find no rest Even as I hear The depths of your fullness Releasing in your breath Even as your voice Winds its way through my soul With more intimate caress Than a river shaping a valley Flowing upon its hills, Its granite cliffs, its secret pools. There is a candle A wick naked and exposed It burns furiously Inhaling the air Exhaling flames of desire Melting Darkness submits To worship upon this altar Your body Your hips whose play A wine Fermented from starry ecstasies My craft will never find The flame is red The flame is white The flame burns me With a delight I shall never taste. Magenta clouds at dawn strung out As islands across a sea As a necklace around your neck The Lord of the Winds With his soft, moist kiss Searches for your breasts With a devouring hunger The Lord of Light Casts his rays Into the sea of my sorrow And borrows my eyes To watch you dance And weeps at twilight For the sweetness My lips will never taste. Your hair drops upon your shoulders Flies around your neck The flowing, rippling, shimmering Of water in a falls Of smoke swirling in the wind Are not as wet Are not as dry As your hair Which burns, and freezes, and impales me With promises of what might have been Had we met And you yielded your love to me Its waves of bliss Its familiarity Your hair like rain Falling upon my face. I have entered a place Where men are forbidden to go A place of the soul A wilderness unknown Where breath can not flow The heart can not seek But it is clearly seen as you dance-- Your hips and thighs Caressing the air Your body sharing your innermost being Unfolding as you enfold this moment In circles, curls, and turns Rising and descending With a love I shall never know. If I could dance with you If I could walk upon the wind If I could bargain with the stars For breath to float my sails If I could sail through every dream As a sailor every sea And you are the sound of the sea When I am lost and lonely Guiding me by the light of stars The moon's silvery touch upon my skin Igniting me within As golden fires without limit Stumble intoxicated through the sky Having spied upon our love. Come dance with me I will be your consort, your guide, your soul, your love As you sing The winds of Eternity run their fingers through your hair-- Once we held hands by a well so long ago Your smile rode above the waves Like a bird migrating across countless lifetimes To return to me again And again, your soul, your song revives me As I sink into your heart And sleep and rest and dream As you caress my skin. Back to Index * * * I received a wonderful compliment for writing the next two poems. A lesbian said a man could not have written these poems. She said they were written instead by one women to another woman who was her lover.

Actually, the first poem was written the next morning at dawn the day after I had evoked the archangel Gabriel with a friend. Gabriel has the most wondrous way of combining sensuality and divinity. For this archangel, the two are one. After all, is Gabriel not the archangel who oversees time, space, and the unfolding of history? And did he not oversee the birth of Christ in human form? And have these gifts of sensory perception and history not been granted to us but to discover the divinity within ourselves?

I placed this poem within a story about Hirah and Parvan, two lovers who were the first on this planet to celebrate true love. I thought the theme appropriate for a poem inspired by an archangel who offers visions of love and fulfillment.

The Beloved
She said to me: "Say something sweet, kind, irresistible and seductive." I replied: If I were holding your hand Right now between my hands I feel I am reborn And I feel my body Slipping, sliding, sliding downward into your body-- A fire igniting Like the light of dawn penetrating down among a forest's shadows, Burning them away, turning them into pure light. And as I caress your belly, your soft belly, My palm drifting upon your skin, I sail as a bird upon the wind Searching across the oceans of your soul For new islands to call my home. And when I put my tongue into your navel-- I taste with my mouth one of the twelve fruits Of the Tree of Life (Which are for the healing of the nations), And this fruit, as I turn my tongue to and fro, Is a red pomegranate, But its taste is of peach and its taste is of springtime-- With fresh waters flowing from mountain snow-- Icy winter dissolving as I lick your navel, My mind turning and turning Here at the center of your being:        I flow into you and dream of new beginnings. And as I place my hands on each side of your waist Gently moving down across the curve of your hips-- I find myself in a dark forest at night Following the sound of one bird singing Singing to me of a dream I let fly away from me, escaping from my life to be free, But now it has returned, charmed by your beauty And by this touch upon your hips in this night of quiet ecstasy. As I kiss your hand, my tongue reaching down into your palm I glide with the wings of a dove down into a valley-- I take within my hands a bunch of grapes from a vine, A vineyard growing not far from the sea, Not far from a place of mystery-- A place where the human heart has learned to be free. I linger here lost in your arms, enfolded by your touch, I am caught, unable to leave, Even if you offered me the keys, I could not unlock these gates which bind my soul Nor forgo the tears which hold me here. And as I kiss your upper arms, pausing, then dropping downward, My touch a feather from a bird Lit with golden light and a rainbow crown, I feel your body rising beneath me, I see your smile-- The sight of sunlight on the horizon at dawn, Your two hands draw me to kiss your lips And as we kiss, at that touch, like a cloudburst in a thunderstorm, A wilderness of passions whirl about me in a dark gray world Where all that now exists is the touch of your lips, But in another kiss, the storm is gone, The sky clears And I walk among fields Where waves break in seas of golden light I whisper your name calling out to you, I love you. And the mountains in the distance And the waters in the ocean depths And the trees in the forest hear this whisper And the mountains sigh Wanting to stretch their bodies, To shift their bulk and release their tension, The oceans shiver and dream of turning into clouds Walking upon the winds, And the trees, those who heard my whispered words-- I love you-- Their leaves turn upward and they reach out To embrace the sky. I love you. Back to Index *       *       * The Beloved: A Reply My hand between yours And at dawn or sunset I am the high cirrus clouds Saffron, russet, vermilion, Cadmium red, carmine, rose, coral pink, Sailing upon a turquoise sea. Your hand on my belly And I am suspended, floating, Adrift on an ancient river of the soul While the touch of your tongue And the secret chamber at the center Of a subterranean labyrinth You set afire Your touch that discovers Memories I had hidden so well I thought they were lost forever. Your hands sliding down upon my hips: A birch, a yew, an oak, a pine, a cedar, Blindfolded I walk Led by a guardian of the forest To where I join with friends Who celebrate this night Both the sacred And the dark passage ways Leading us here. Your kiss on my palm: A lamb and its mother Calling out to each other Across a ravine, My body moves involuntarily A swirling A python's thigh uncoiling A sail unfurling in the rising wind My mind sinking down Muscles tightening, contracting, My breath is where The eagle hovers, gliding, Ascending and descending. Your kiss on my arm: The roots, the stem, the petals, The fragrance within Each separate part of the flower Feels the spark pass through it-- The ray the enchanter plays. The dream in the eye of the sun Echoes and probes the depths Of my body and soul. And at our kiss A flashflood wild and dangerous Devouring one by one Calm moonlit pools Where serenity said I belong Yet I yield To the raging torrent, The surge, the uncharted power Which enflames the stars And seeks to bind your heart And mine as one forever. The Greater Love Which informs the universe In exquisite pain, In blissful torment, In terrible beauty, Cords rending the soul Sounds whose harmonics Create both light and darkness No mystical dervish this-- I whirl amid a creator's abyss Impaled by the lightning bolt In the night sky, The womb in which The Image of the world Is reborn again and again, Your touch Is the sculptor's acid Annihilating the last barriers To my heart, My body absorbs these fires through every pore I seek you from the core of my being, To wrap you about, to scream, To rise higher. Wind blown foam from the crests of these waves Are tears in my eyes As the storm wind's fury Clasps me close to his breast But at the center Of the whirlwind Silent and still You and I remain the joining Round which the stars dance. Back to Index *       *       * Kathy died during the night several hours after being thrown from a horse. The next day she came to me in a “sending,” awakening me from a nap. She asked me to write this poem for her husband so he would have the words with which to say good-bye to her. I cry every time I read it.    Elegy for Kathy It has grown quiet now-- My tears are no longer falling But my hands and arms continue to search for you I have told them that the night is deep I have told them that the stars were placed in the sky To remind us of the Mysteries still hidden within our hearts But their longing is beyond the power of words to reach That is why my tears Betray even poetry And continue falling. Male and female join As night and day Yet even a star so nobly poised Amid the void, the void which holds its mysterious heart Even a star celebrates its own light In the face of the planets Revolving around it Yet the child's cry reminds us boyh Of the womb from which we were born And the destiny we have yet to attain But the child's cry can be comforted The child held close, the child loved But who will comfort my heart As I search the night As tears continue searching my cheeks Still looking for your smile Still longing to hear your heartbeat? No seashell recalls the songs of the sea Or the waves rippling and falling upon the shore As well as my ears remember your laughter As well as my skin Remembers your love. If I could have but one more hour To walk beside you To share your company as you shove off From the shores of the life we have shared together But you would not grant me this request Even if you could You know I would not return But would continue on beside you. I tell my eyes It is no use They will never see you again But they are more persuasive than I They say they see you everywhere I look In a thousand settings In a thousand memories Which still beg to comfort me, to hold me, to love me As I had hoped to love you every day of my life. I have grown quiet now My tears are no longer falling My blood flows through my body My lungs continue to breathe My arms and hands are calm My eyes and ears are at peace We no longer argue Where and when we will find you Or how we will live without you You see, I have taken over their cause-- In my innermost heart I speak on their behalf: One heart in quiet consultation with another heart Time, space, life, and death They can no longer keep us apart And I say what I would have said anyway And what you know is true also: I love you with all my heart And I will love you forever and again I say I love you so I miss you so much But I know you my dear You would even find it funny That I use a towel now Instead of a handkerchief To dry away my tears. Back to Index *       *       * Lahe was one of the most inspiring individuals I have ever met. She knew and visited nearly every sacred site in Hawaii. The land flowed through her soul. Lahe’ena’e Gay was killed by guerilla militia 3/4/99 in Columbia.
An Elegy--For Lahe When I think of Lahe, I think of the Earth-- The mountains, the trees, the streams, the seas-- The waves, the winds, the currents, the tides And the moon drifting through the skies. When I visualize Lahe, I recall holding her hands And I hear water falling, splashing, and laughing in mountain pools On the Big Island, on Maui, on Molokai, on Oahu, and Kaua’i: Ripples cross the surface to nudge my skin And there are rainbows in the spray As the wind swirls and lifts the fine mist Up and over the cliffs. Somehow she still seems near As if I can catch the scent of her hair. If only the Plumeria were in blossom, If only the shama’s clear, crisp song Could replace this fragrance which is forever gone. Lahe, you are the tears within me I have never cried, The beauty of the universe shines in your eyes, You are the part of my soul which will never die. The Earth weeps this night for a child so dear As do I. Back to Index *       *       * When I was young, I was attracted to women who were born during the dark moon. This aspect is not always sweet, affectionate, or friendly, but it does possess mysterious wisdom.
The Dark Moon I Cold, cold Balsamic Moon Your darkness is the opposite Of your other face: Silvery ecstasy Your hands of light Within the night Are acceptance, delight, and serenity. But this dark face Guards the place Where terror is bound This empty shadow crossing over Obliterating the stars Eclipsing the sun You are a black hole within the heart An abyss to dissolve within Ah, but I know better than to complain You are also a Gate For those who would be reborn as Spirit. My dear, you are so easy to hate and despise To desire you are acid To pleasure you are pain To joy you are sorrow and ruin. But women understand you well enough The mouth that nurses their breasts Learns to resist, grows up, departs The child's heart now given to another. Barren and desolate are a mother's share Of what was once the most tender affection. But men feel your caress Only in absolute despair When all hope is abandoned You are the grave when life is left behind You are the earth where the seed dies You are the circle of fire Guarding Mysteries men shall never taste. Still, though invisible, You are constantly flirting with me In the woman who is so easily offended With a wave of her hand or a glance She makes hatred appear out of thin air I swear, she knows every bitter herb and root Within a hundred miles She hurls darts of jealousy At any pleasure a man takes At any work a man makes Without her to guide him along. But I see through your eyes this Wisdom-- Anything that rusts or corrodes Has no place in your heart You have walked by my side my whole life Every time I have sought to be touched By another in love You have said: First you must die You must let go of the love you would hold Only then will love find you In a new and unknown form You can not even imagine. You say to me: You must build a bridge Between one heart and another Sing into existence a path of Light This is how you entered this world And this is how you will attain your destiny. You say to me: And if you honor my soul As you know Of the stars I am very fond I will give you all of their treasures The mysteries of civilizations forgotten And of ages unborn I will give you clairvoyance Time will undo her veils And stand naked before your eyes The Guardians of the world Will visit you in your room at dawn If you will drink my wine Refined from the essence Of sorrow, regret, sadness, and loss. You see, I am the opposite of oblivion I am the hand held out in welcome To those who would be free Know this you who seek to look upon my form: The path that leads from the darkest night To the heart of the sun Is born from my womb. Though I admit Only a wise man Is ready to concede My beauty-- though well-hidden-- Outshines all other women. Back to Index *       *       * The Dark Moon II I am the Balsamic Moon And dark my night And darker still my light And bitter are my tears And my fingers are icy cold My touch is frost bite. But I am still your lover A lover like no other For I can take you Into a secret place of bliss Where no other lover may go Though I am not there For your needs Still when you look You will behold my beauty-- See the stars Shining in my hair Come walk with me for a night Take my hand and kiss my breasts I alone am your perfect lover A lover like no other And though darkness be my embrace I am the gateway--I alone. Only those born of my womb Only those born of my night Enter the One Light. Back to Index *       *       * Atlantean Memories The love I seek Does not belong to me But to the man I will one day be. I am still the seed And though I have died a thousand times Again I must let go Of the man I know To make the transition But the pain is not everything Wonder walks by my side And Mystery is my guide I have seen and embraced Women who, in the distant future, Will be sent to teach mankind of beauty and bliss And of ecstasy I have tasted more Than William Blake, Whitman, or Baudelaire And the stars at night shine more bright for me Than they ever did for Van Gogh They offer me their sacred fires to comfort my soul You see, the separation before reunion Is never absolute When you have such a clear vision Of the woman you will one day love: The sky speaks of her face The oceans remind me of her grace The earth so silent Keeps her safe Even the flames of fusion in the hearts of stars Are the place Where our wills are forged We will find each other again And love as we once did before. Back to Index *       *       * Her Eyes The brown in her eyes Ensnares with its light I fall to the center of the earth And am reborn as moist leaves on the ground The dreams of spring long gone The spice of summer's delight Still burning furious in my heart Surely the beauty in her face Is a thief stealing my happiness Leaving emptiness in its place Every single time I see her Her presence, her grace Bind me with chains of desire Torture me with flames of pain Force me to walk within my dreams And watch them all betrayed I shall wander lost forever Driven by the winds of her smile: The waves on the sea Their foamy crests Her hair flowing across my chest Soft as thin mist Tossed into the sky. My dreams follow her radiance As the tides the moon As the stars the paths they did not choose. Once she held my hand I was lost in a foreign land In a forest of dark peace In groves amid a wilderness unknown And yet, always, The light of her face reflects The deepest secret of life Which few dare speak Love flows through the center of the heart And only those who willingly embrace The winter of the soul Can pass through the emptiness Guarding the heart's gates-- Love hides its face Because its beauty, its taste, Is more than we can endure. Back to Index *       *       * In Your Hands In your hands I am emptiness Darkness is my abode A place where the soul is lost A time when the heart grows cold The river flowing to the sea finds peace The wave breaking on the beach finds release Starlight falls about me in curtains of luminous rain Oh night of dazzling pain Is there no shelter for my heart? I am in a universe without stars Now that you from my life depart. Back to Index *       *       * In Pablo Neruda’s Footsteps I am dead now The fire has no where to burn The smoke and smoldering desires of memory fade The twigs, the leaves, the coals-- There is no fuel left for flame Only the sound of your heartbeat Only the seas of your love Only this rain of tears falling Though eyes, ears, and body no longer remain. Back to Index *       *       * Too Much to Ask Is it too much to ask for a woman's love? I watch the clouds pass over the Koolau's With moist hands, fingers pressing into the trees Their tongues dip into the leaves As their soft lips whisper, quivering Like a drop of water Delicately poised, balanced, shivering Before running wild down the bark, I listen to the wind at Sandy Beach As it speaks of the sea Of the wave's crest Rising higher Foamy white it hurls itself Without thought, hesitation, or regret As thin mist into the sky As the diamond sun Sings with enchanting eyes Of dawn and twilight Where two hearts unite Day and night melting into a greater love, I watch the stream in Manoa Valley Drifting and turning Curling around every rock Letting go as it flows As in a dream Releasing itself With sighs and gentle cries Willingly it yields Into the arms of the valley below So naturally I think: Love is not so distant In every smell, taste, and touch Its fingers play upon my nerves Ravishing my senses As it searches for my heart, But women must know instinctively To beware of intimacy with a poet Women want men who are firm and strong To lean upon To defend their place within society A man must be like other men For it takes solidarity Membership in community To insure a woman's beauty is honored and well-received Before she willingly opens the gates of her heart. But I am like the wind I penetrate the secret chambers of the heart Into remote longings the mind has forgot Into fires of desire society knows nothing about: Every tree on earth listens when I speak, Awakens, and shares with me its dreams, I can so bind with the power of my mind Any star in the sky at night To reveal its magic and its songs, Even minerals and rocks stir at my touch And recount their birth Long before animal or man walked these islands But what woman would ever put up with crap like that? Or fall in love with a man Who calls the wind his brother Who speaks to the sea in his dreams Who sees beauty, the inner light, Shining within all things-- The web of life Intricately weaving the world And all purposes into one design-- And who imagines a woman's love To be as soft as moonlight falling through space As gentle as the morning breeze As yielding and sweet As the stars at night And the hearts of trees? Although in dreams and visions I am wealthy above all men on earth The simple things in life: Casual conversation, honest work, Straight-forward intentions-- These elude my grasp And so, perhaps it is too much to ask. Back to Index *       *       * One Day One day a woman will love me As the ocean loves the shore All night long I listen to the waves breaking Like the heartbeat of a woman lying next to me, As the moon loves the night And is unafraid to shine amid its abyss of stars, As the wind loves the sky Sailing free it rises with the heat And clings to you when it is cold, As trees love the earth Sturdy, solid Radiant with beauty through all the changing seasons, As rivers love to flow in spring Splashing, laughing, running wild Breaking free of winter's freezing hold, As mountain caves love silence, darkness, and water dripping And are unafraid of the flashflood That surges through their hearts. And in that day I shall be able to tell you The songs the sea sings at night The source of the moon's inspiration when it is dark The dream the wind enters when it falls asleep The taste of the twelve fruits of the Tree of Life The joy of one who has found true love And what it feel like when love Penetrates into the secret chambers of the heart. Back to Index *       *       * The following poem is from the story told to me by a sylph named Capisi.   In this story, an Arab poet is caught between his love of Capisi and human morality that demands he put aside his love of nature and fulfill his obligations to society.
Hold Me One Last Time Hold me. Love me again with all of your heart. I no longer wish to think or judge or reason I surrender the knowledge of who I am Of who I was meant to become into your safekeeping Let me once again be suspended within your love And sheltered by your heart. I want so much to put aside my shame I want to sit on a hillside once again, In the stillness of night, in its warm embrace, And look down from far above at an ocean bay below I want to watch my shame depart Like busy merchants loading their ships before dawn Hurrying to meet their deadline The tide is in, they sail off Their sails vanish over the horizon Never to return. When I hold you My pain is gone, My hands upon your skin And a luminous light More serene than moonlight More sweet than the ecstasy of starlight More healing than dawn's first light-- The part of myself that is afraid Willingly dies now within your arms, I return to the source of life Which I have never known. May all your journeys take place Within the circle Where one heart is joined with another. Back to Index *       *       * This poem is inspired by the spirit of the Venus sphere named Guru.
You Are Within My Soul She says, You are within my soul-- Take my hand Let us celebrate together The Joy hidden in the Heart of Life: There is no pain within you I can not reach, There is no emptiness within you I can not enter and make complete There is no loneliness anywhere within your soul That I can not be there and share it in full. There is no anguish or weariness or wound I can not tend and heal. You feel new life slipping inside you at my touch Yet you say to me, I am afraid. I reply: There is no fear Let go into the unbroken flow My love sails through your blood and your bones All the great battles of life Are first fought within your heart Even as nothing separates our hearts in this moment All fear dissolves in the fire of our love. You say to me, My path is dark and full of confusion. I reply, The body is not separate from the heart. Take my hands, in your own inhalation and exhalation Is light enough to reveal Each breath is a path of love, Come, my love, in our touch, in our breath, And in the words we share Is fire that burns in the heart of the earth And rivers that flow beneath the seas And in our eyes, as we gaze into each others, Is all the knowledge of our souls set free. Come, set aside the memory of ashes From cold places where you camped Amid pain, loneliness, and wilderness. Let go into the flow of our breath, Our blood rising as a tide The waves pulsing through your body have always known That bliss is as near as a smile And ecstasy rides upon the crest of the moment When one heart opens to another. If I held you within my body in this moment (For I am a woman and know my own power) You would sail down that ancient river That flows through your soul And even as you guided the craft Your muscles flexed The helm held steady All your powers as a man engaged and unleashed The fire within your heart and eyes charting the course My love would blend and glide through your body As the bow rides upon the waves As the wind feathers and glides through the sails And whether your quest Searches the far reaches of Eternity Or the mysteries of each moment Your soul would know that in its journey It is no longer alone The treasure you seek is only found When one heart is joined to another-- I love you and I will always love you Wherever you journey Wherever you go. Back to Index *       *       * The following poem was inspired by the song, Ailein Duinn, sung by Karen Matheson from the sound track of Rob Roy.

Sings From The Heart I can feel the electricity from her nipples Bite my skin as her passion rises Yet she sings from her heart this woman Her grace enfolds me She has laid her soul bare and naked And slipped it within me. I can feel her wetness dripping down her legs As she takes me within Even as I climb, scaling huge boulders The water flowing and splashing As spray and drops upon my skin As I climb deeper, penetrating further Up the ragged, jagged, and winding course Of a mountain stream Amid ravines I climb Over fallen trees and past raging torrents Until finally I reach The source, the mountain pool Surrounded by slippery smooth walls, impassable, Yet she sings from her heart this woman. I can feel her hips wild when they play Joined to mine in intimate embrace The wind wild as the sea The wind evoking pollen and seeds From the flower and tree The wind creating clouds From out of an empty sky As warm and moist it ascends rising higher over the mountain cliffs Opening its mouth to release fog and mist in the cooling air Yet she sings from her heart. I can feel her mouth searching my body for secret gateways Which release my bliss to her tongue and her lips In her eyes in this moment I see the secret longing hidden in the eyes of all animals The instincts which flow Beneath the frozen ice of the mountain stream The water dripping and exploding In subterranean caverns which glide and hide At the core and roots of mountains Yet she sings from her heart this woman. I feel the hand that caresses with tenderness my skin I feel the hand of the moon Whose caress can bleed the soul Cold, wild, ferocious virgin that She is The teeth in the moon light tear And leave marks and pain upon my skin More permanent than any welts From the loneliness hidden therein Yet the mouth of my Beloved and her lips Heal every bruise and torment With a fire more wild and complete As she touches me with her mouth As her lips follow secret pathways To the source of pain and loneliness hidden within Yet she sings from her heart this woman to my heart. As her soul enters my body Her words and the notes of her song Her own heart speaks from out of my chest Her thighs, her hips, her breasts, her hands, and her eyes Dancing this very moment here within my body Her tongue has learned to speak that ancient magick The human race has yet to learn-- That lust and Divine Love are never separate But move as one in every act of human and Divine Creation. Back to Index * * * Once long ago before I knew the ways of priests, magicians, and shamans, I was chanting in the woods. And two young deer sat down beside me. We spent the next two hours together. I pretended to eat hickory leaves from a bush and they ran beside me through the woods. But it was not good.

I knew I was on the brink of losing my sanity--if I remained a few hours longer with these deer among these trees where the light shines brown and green and the top soil and the stream running down are the silent wealth of the hills....I would neither recognize nor understand how to place my hand and press my thumb to open the door of my car parked and waiting for me patiently at the mouth of the valley. Perhaps days, weeks, or months later, I would wander on to a road and be hit by a car or else be found starving and ill at the bottom of some hill at the edge of a ranch, suburb, or freeway. Then no medical doctor on earth would be able to diagnose my illness. And so I chose to return to my car and be haunted from afar rather than to walk alone into the unknown.

But that was long ago. Since then I have learned the ways of shaman, of shape shifting, and transferring my conscious with ease into trees, rocks, stones, seas, every breeze, and other manifold forms of nature. And so now when passion reaches for me it finds a kindred spirit, a soul with an inner land of forests, mountains, and seas where it is free to roam without hindrance. Last night, for example, I was delighting in a ritual of passion. I was soaked in sweat like an ancient hunter who has transformed into the creature he is stalking. And so this poem of celebration:

I Am the Wolverine I am the wolverine Wolves, mountain lion, and bear Flee from me or else climb trees To escape the fear I cause Because of the terror In my teeth, my jaws, and my claws Their game I claim as my own All this land I roam is my home The Goddess of the earth has declared it so She has placed this ferocity within me A gaze so cold, alone, and bold Others' hearts weaken The fire in their eyes dies-- It is wise they avoid me That they keep their distance They know that if I wished I could steal their soul life The way the moon steals beauty from the night Or the stars steal rapture From the dark emptiness of the void. Though my reputation is well-known Few fathom my inspiration-- I am the will that turns the seasons That changes night to day It is what I am I am its manifestation That is to say What shines in my gaze Is beyond mortal understanding You may think it odd I speak so openly, freely, and with eloquence But intelligence is no defense And reason is no shield Against the powers I wield I take what I need I leave claw marks on the bark of trees My smell is sharp I see in the dark The possibilities others' hearts can not conceive. I am the wolverine Back to Index * * * Shea says her Irish family is part of a werewolf clan, something she discovered on her own because her parents would never speak of it aloud in her presence. I really do not know anything more about this other than, again, I awoke from a nap and wrote this poem for her spirit.
The Werewolf, For Shea