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Essays - Summer, 2007
by Randy Roche, SJ
Below is a title
and brief description of each essay. To read the essay, click on the title.
Varieties of Prayer - We have more than one way of communicating with friends; we have even more options in relating with God.
Open Heart - God knows well what we need, and when and how best to open our hearts without impinging on our precious gift of freedom.
“Happy Birthday” - What might we receive by celebrating birthdays?
Temperature Changes - The spiritual weather may change, but God’s love for us does not fluctuate at all.
Experiencing Inspiration - When we are inspired, we are in contact with the gift and the loving giver.
Interpretations - All good interpretation depends upon spirit; the Spirit of God is the guide for all authentic interpretation.
Healing of Spirit - When we pray our way through an event of forgiveness, we encounter God who is love.
Work-Around - A work-around is the connection between wanting something and bringing it to the level of an effective habit.
Confusion and Love - Would God not help when we present ourselves in a state of confusion?
Lost and Found - God rejoices when we come back to our “home.”
Varieties of Prayer
Individuals might say of their prayer: “Oh, I had a very good prayer-time yesterday.”
Or, “I don’t know if I was really praying.” Or, “Praying is so hard.” Our experiences
of prayer differ, for any cross-section of people or for any one individual as do
our experiences of love. We know what we mean by “love” and by “prayer,” but if
we talk about what happens inside us regarding either reality, none of us will use
the exact same expressions as anyone else.
If prayer were primarily an activity of our own doing, some rules for judging the
quality of prayer would follow the kinds of reasoning and evaluation that we use
for football or snow-boarding. But prayer, like communication between friends, is
more about an experience of mutuality than about individual performances.
We can say of any particular experience of prayer that we found it satisfying or
not, just as we can speak of a delightful conversation that we enjoyed with a friend
or a painful misunderstanding that took place. Every relationship includes some
interactions that are memorable for their positive qualities, and some that were
hurtful and best not recalled. But a good relationship continues through moments
beautiful and ugly. Love actually grows, for most of us, in facing and seeking to
resolve some of the dissonances that occur between persons. In relating with God
in prayer, we will sometimes present ourselves with complete trust, and at other
times we might be filled with doubts and negative thoughts. We do not enjoy painful
moments when they occur, but through them we come to know ourselves as the growing
and “incomplete projects” that God loves.
If we appreciate the thoughts and interior movements that take place within us when
we pray, we will be inclined to continue in the same manner, just as we consistently
use particular modes of expression that we discovered were helpful in our friendships.
If we are not satisfied with our prayer, we might find help in recalling that we
are attempting to engage in a conversation of two persons, not a monologue. We have
many options open to us. We do not have to continue praying in the same manner,
just because “we have always done it that way.”
In most conversations, one person does more of the listening, and another more of
the talking. But a listener often communicates as much or more than a speaker by
his or her attitude, eye-contact, gestures, and demeanor. In prayer, God might seem
more of a listener, while we do most of the talking. But if we are not finding satisfaction
in prayer, we might need to attend more closely to the very soft-spoken words and
especially the non-verbal communication that God sometimes uses. The point of a
conversation between friends is as much about conveying trust and affection as in
relating facts to each other. In prayer, we will find that honestly expressing what
is in our hearts receives encouragement, while focusing on “the right words” while
neglecting our feelings of fear, anger, or affection might well receive the equivalent
of a friends’ look of incomprehension.
When we talk with friends, we do not concern ourselves overmuch with correct grammar
and as careful a selection of words as we might when writing a message, because
we are familiar with one another’s intentions. When we pray, we are in the presence
of someone whose concern is us, not the correctness of our language, or even the
level of our self-understanding. We can communicate with God in words, in sentiments,
and in desires. We can choose to let God see us as we are at any particular moment,
and that too will be prayer.
If we choose to use a formal prayer, such as The Lord’s Prayer, or some other written
prayer, we might find improved communication by paying careful attention to what
happens within us as we say the words. Do we feel reverence, peace, or joy? Do the
words match our sentiments; do they speak for us? In a similar fashion, we can use
the words of a Psalm or another piece of sacred writing, and note the effect upon
us. We have more than one way of communicating with friends; we have even more options
in relating with God.
We do not see God with our physical eyes, so some practices of prayer that help
to bring us into personal contact are a little different than the means we might
use in relating with someone we can see. We can write a note to God, in which we
express ourselves without concern for literary niceties. After a slight pause, we
could write out God’s response. Our hands will not be moved by some invisible power,
but we can expect that the God of our faith, hope and love will gently inspire our
attempts at writing what God might say to us. Our hearts will likely be touched
in the process of such writing.
However we pray we are never completely on our own. Every inclination to pray, every
mode, manner, and intention that occurs within us has something of God’s Spirit
already at work in us. Sometimes, the most suitable prayer begins with a quiet request
of God: “Please start a prayer in me.”
Open
Heart
We all know someone who has had open heart surgery. A doctor has to cut, literally
to the heart, in order to help the patient regain the capacity for living a normal
life. Though the intervention is not intended to cause harm, it does produce pain
and some loss of blood. Even a “paper cut” on a finger bleeds and is painful, though
it is usually very small. We are sensitive to all cuts; some we deliberately choose
for good reasons and some happen through no choice of ours.
God sometimes cuts to the heart for the sake of healing, but the “surgery” is bloodless,
even if there is some pain. All of us need, at times, to have our hearts opened
up to love: we need to have our “stony hearts” turned to “hearts of flesh” as much
as someone with clogged arteries requires surgery for the sake of a healthy blood
flow.
When we face some challenges in our lives we are quite aware that we are in need
of help to increase the flow of love through our hearts. Even if we foresee the
possibility of some pain, we ask our God to bring about the changes within us that
we cannot manage to effect by ourselves. At other times, we are not aware of our
need to grow in love, but a painful challenge might demand our attention as much
as any heart attack or even a small paper cut. If we turn to God at those times,
we also receive help to deal with events and experiences that confront us. And our
hearts grow in the capacity to love.
When God opens our hearts, it is not to “teach us a lesson,” but only to heal some
blockage within us that prevents the flow of our love to others, and from others
to us. Our spirits are made for loving more than our physical hearts are made for
circulating blood through our bodies. Sometimes we seek God’s help before confronting
an interpersonal problem, a painful decision, or a new option just as one might
opt for elective surgery. At other times, a health crisis or emotional trauma might
serve as an occasion of our changing from a hard-hearted attitude to that of being
open to giving and receiving love. God does not force open our hearts, but we often
come to realize that what we had once experienced as a cutting pain has led to a
healing gain.
God knows well what we need, and when and how best to open our hearts without impinging
on our precious gift of freedom. The Divine Physician has all the skill that is
needed to bring us safely through an opening of our hearts. We do not need to seek
a second opinion. Any good surgeon has an expert medical team to assist. God makes
use not so much of specialists, but the people who surround us in our everyday environment
– those who can reach out to us and evoke from us the particular loving responses
that are appropriate for our hearts at the time.
Physical and spiritual healing does not always or necessarily involve the kind of
cutting that we associate with surgery. God is quite capable of touching our hearts
directly without causing any pain at all. We welcome consolation, peace, and trust
that cause our hearts to expand in love. But some of the most significant acts of
care, concern, and love that we experience are in response to the pain of others.
In such cases we can say that our hearts are cut, not due to some injury or illness
of ours, but with fitting compassion for others. Love, like a paper cut, can hurt,
but we do not lose blood; rather we grow in love, understanding, and acceptance.
Like Jesus Christ, we become divinely human when our suffering is for the sake of
love.
“Happy Birthday”
It is a kindness to remember someone’s birthday, and to give a call or to send
a card to one of our acquaintances, friends or family members. And in so doing,
we also benefit. If we celebrate the birthday of a historical person or of someone
who has died, we might not be doing a kindness to him or to her, but we gain something
of value for ourselves. Finally, if we celebrate our own birthday with one or more
persons, we also achieve something in addition to whatever we receive from others.
What might we receive by celebrating birthdays? We might enjoy making a joke about
the age of another person, but surely that is not in itself worth the price of a
card. When we take even a moment to recall the gift of life as it is manifested
in another person, including those who have died, we cannot help but re-value our
own life. Birth is the beginning of life for us, and when we celebrate the mystery
of someone else’s entering upon the experience of human life, we remind ourselves
of how important it is to be alive. Compared to the most extravagant birthday gift
that one person can give to another, life is incomparably greater. When we give
a birthday greeting, we attend in some small to that which is of most value – life.
While we might think of how a birthday-person has gotten older, and has changed
over time, we might reflect on ourselves, and how we too never grow younger, but
neither do we only add to the number of our years – we become ever more that person
whose life began at a specific moment in time, with the capacity for continuing
to live without end. We might become aware, as we consider someone else’s birth,
of the innate sense we have that human life, once begun, is oriented towards continuation,
even through the experience of death.
Remembering the birthday of some historical person – a good leader, a saint, or
a relative – provides us with an opportunity for recognizing particular values and
qualities that we value in them, and so desire for ourselves. These persons we recall
still affect us positively, even if we cannot find words to express exactly how
or in what ways their influence is beneficial. The humanity of those we respect
guide our imaginations and desires in responding to challenges with courage, to
loving rather than hating, and to treating life as a holy mystery. Many of us have
found that our friendship continues and even grows with those whose births we choose
to celebrate, though they have passed through death. Friends help one another. “Saints”
is a name for people who have died, and are known to continue being helpful friends.
Celebrating our own birthdays is important. If we have at times avoided the occasion,
perhaps our attention was focused primarily on the passage of time considered as
a loss or diminishment. Another option moves in an entirely different direction:
our birthdays are not primarily about us as “owners” of a body that is ageing, but
about a supreme personal gift from God that leads to praise and gratitude. Each
of us is not only the fruit of human love, but a unique creation, cherished by God,
sought after for eternal companionship. Ours is the highest calling imaginable:
no matter our age, health, past accomplishments and failures, we were born into
life with the option of never-ending friendship with God. That is worth celebrating.
God is alive, and desires us to live in gratitude for the gift of life that we and
others now experience or have experienced. Those who are grateful for being born
into human life are those who, in a natural progression, will continue in gratitude
and in praise of God in the life that continues after death. “Happy Birthday.”
Temperature Changes
We cannot say with assurance that hot is always better than cold, or vice-versa.
When it comes to weather, some people love winters that are freezing, while others
want to get to a warmer climate; Some people are pleased to visit a hot and humid
location for a vacation, while others want ice and snow. Most of us live with varying
conditions of hot and cold in contexts where sometimes our preferences are a controlling
factor, and other times not. We might choose where we live; we certainly do not
control the weather.
Our experiences of God are like the weather, since we do not control the warmth
or coolness of the felt presence or absence of our Creator and Lover. Though we
do not control God, we are free to choose whether to repeat a practice in which
we have previously experienced God directly, or, at other times, to try something
new that has been recommended to us for coming into direct contact with God. If
we cannot choose the temperature of the weather directly, we can decide whether
to “come inside or to go outside” in seeking personal experiences of God.
Sometimes God’s love finds us when we are neither seeking nor thinking about God.
The Presence can be so appreciable that we have feelings of warmth, a deep calmness,
and a sense of well-being. Many of us receive one or more “foundational experiences”
that are so strong when they occur that they are unforgettable. Years later, when
we do not have the same intense feelings and nearly absolute certainty about our
relationship with God, we continue to live and act as though it were still true
– and it is. At other times, we are hardly aware of any attraction for God, but
neither do we experience a sense of alienation. Though the weather may change, God
does not go away from us, nor do we from God. The depth of our relationship cannot
be measured by the temperature of what we feel, but only by our commitment to stay
rather than to leave.
If we accept that God really loves us, and trust in the experiences we have had
that revealed that love, we will continue to remain open to God. Whatever practices
we discovered as helpful when God’s presence and action affected us powerfully,
we will continue to use, even when the warm or hot weather turns cool or cold. It
is not ours to cause our hearts and minds to be filled with great affection and
consolation. But when we insist on trusting rather than denying the experiences
of God that we have had, we can recognize in our spirits an abiding level of warmth,
accompanied by a perceptible sense of peace.
God loves to give us gifts that touch us deeply, but knows well that if we become
accustomed to great warmth and devotion, we might begin to think that we are somehow
better persons than those who might be experiencing “cool” weather in their relationship
with God. And so we might be given, as gift, a time when we wonder what happened
to all those delightful feelings that made a spiritual life seem natural and easy.
In order to have us experience our complete inability to cause or even to hold on
to warm affections, God might leave us in the cold for a bit. If we acknowledge
that every movement in our hearts towards God is a free gift from God, we will become
certain and sure that God loves us, as we are.
The spiritual weather may change, but God’s love for us does not fluctuate at all.
Each act we make of trusting in God’s faithful love is usually accompanied by at
least a calm sense of truthfulness. At different times in our lives, we all have
experiences of temperature changes in the spiritual climate.
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Experiencing Inspiration
If we reflect a bit, we might recall moments of inspired thinking that were
unexpected; we were surprised – pleasantly – by a helpful idea that came to mind
although we were not trying to resolve an issue or make a plan. The thought was
recognizable as an inspiration by the sense of joy that accompanied it; we received
a gift without having asked for one.
In times of need, many of us seek inspirations consciously, by waiting, by refraining
from “trying too hard,” or by praying. We hope to become aware of a helpful line
of thinking or the beginning of some positive internal process that we can pursue.
We recognize inspirations as impulses that arise very quickly when they take place,
and are accompanied by a sense of empowerment, and with energy for action. They
are often perceived as seeds that will grow into something valuable, though we might
have to spend time working with them.
Inspirations often begin a process rather than provide closure to a concern or need.
One thought moves on to another, but we sense that even with the expenditure of
some efforts on our part we are recipients of a gift. The experience of inspiration
reveals how intimately God works in our minds, making use of our ability to think,
remember, and imagine, and within our hearts’ desires and aspirations. As we learn
to trust our experiences of inspiration, and to ask for them, we will become increasingly
aware of their frequency in our lives.
Some people think that inspirations are reserved for people like artists, not “ordinary
people.” But parents are often inspired when, with no preparation, they respond
well to questions from their children or unforeseen needs of family members. Teachers
frequently experience inspiration as they search for better means to draw students
into a learning process. Some sales persons are inspired in the helpful responses
they make to customers who have very specific interests. All of us receive inspirations,
probably more often than we consciously identify.
Not all our ideas are inspired; many thoughts have no connection with inspiration.
We are capable of considering how to manipulate other persons, how to accomplish
goals devoid of ethical consequences, or how to gain for ourselves any number of
selfish objectives. We might “have our way,” but lack any accompanying joy, indicating
the absence of the Spirit. We are capable of creative selfishness, but the benefits
are not those of consolation, only the lingering sense of “is that all there is?”
When we are under the influence of inspiration, there is nothing we would rather
do than continue what we are doing, even if it would be considered hard work. Would
we really prefer instead some form of entertainment? No. While inspiration moves
in our minds and touches our spirits, our present experience is more interesting
than any imagined pleasure that could be derived from some other source. The difference
between inspiration, which resonates perfectly with our interior senses, and all
other stimuli, is very much like the difference between being involved in an interpersonal
experience of love and being occupied with a game of solitaire. When we are inspired,
we are in contact with the gift and the loving giver. Outside the times of inspiration,
we are more aware of ourselves, and are probably less conscious of the gifts we
have received.
Inspiration is an expression of God’s love that is not just a warm regard for people
in general, but a particular, personal nudge that is given to us as individuals
- as if with a knowing smile on God’s face - and an invitation that challenges us
to develop and stretch our talents of mind and spirit. Love calls us to become more
loving ourselves, to become like the source of inspiration. Through inspirations
we find that life in keeping with God’s intentions is more attractive than repulsive,
more energizing than depressive, and far more valuable that any other possible direction
we might take.
Experiencing inspirations is one of the great privileges of being a human - a child
of God.
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Interpretations
Some interpretations involve language, as when one person interprets some sentences
spoken in Spanish for an English-only listener. But an individual also might interpret
a dance, choreographing it according to his or her concept of a classical movement.
And a number of conductors can interpret a piece of music as they see fit, though
all of them use the same musical score. We might not think of ourselves as interpreters,
but most of us do interpret rules, Scriptures, and official documents of both Church
and State.
Some persons are skilled at the interpretation of languages; various artists exhibit
a wide range of talent in their interpretations. When we interpret the meaning of
written and spoken words, we exercise gifts of spirit. In all cases of interpretation,
individuals start with something that is given, and, without changing the essentials,
bring forth a particular meaning to what they see and hear based on their own experience,
personality, and capabilities.
All good interpretation depends upon spirit; the Spirit of God is the guide for
all authentic interpretation.
Since we do interpret, and should interpret, we do so not according to whims and
certainly not under compulsions, but allowing ourselves to be guided. We exercise
our God-given freedom, not to be moved by fear, ore even by a false desire to please
others. Rather, we listen for the thoughts, ideas, and images that arise within
us that are neither defensive not self-aggrandizing, but are experienced as invitations,
consolations, and inspirations. When we read a passage of writing, we wait for an
“aha” that accompanies a graced understanding coming to us more as gift than the
exercise of our intelligence. When we listen to someone speak, we do not try to
force the speaker’s words into our consciousness, but allow a concept to develop
within us that meets some perhaps never-before-recognized need. For us ordinary
people, God regularly guides our personal interpretations.
Some might describe our responsibility for interpreting communications as “following
our consciences.” We can also describe our every-day experiences of interpretations
as letting the Spirit of God bring to mind and heart the most helpful understanding
available to us at the time of all that we read and hear.
Some of us are more of a literal mind while others of us are more of a “left-brain”
orientation. Neither mode is more correct than the other, though we all know some
speakers and writers who insist that their words and expressions are the only legitimate
means of understanding the concepts they choose to share. The Holy Spirit has complete
freedom and power to act in each person as is best for the sake not only of individuals,
but for human society as well. Who are we to say that this or that set of human
words is the only legitimate channel for expressing a thought? God is not limited
by languages. God’s gracious desire is to bring all people into a unity that transcends
languages, yet allows for individual interpretations of all human means of communication.
The personal interpretations we make for ourselves do not always adequately address
the needs of others. Many legislators, judges, rulers, preachers and writers are
mistaken when they deliver their interpretations as absolutes. If they are good
willed and honest, they will deliver the best words that they can discover at the
moment. Whether or not a speaker or writer consciously seeks to be guided by the
Spirit of God, all listeners and readers are responsible for making interpretations
for ourselves based on our present relationship with God.
In making our interpretations, we might consider some words originally written in
Greek, but here in English: “We know that all things work together for good for
those who love God.” (Rom. 8:28)
Healing of Spirit
Injustice hurts, not just when someone does something to us, but when we ourselves
speak or act against another person. Forgiveness, whether we forgive those who have
done harm to us, or we accept the forgiveness offered to us by others or by God,
would seem to put an end to the injustices. But our experience of forgiveness and
healing is often complex, and takes some time.
We might forgive another person, but feel hurt and angry every time we see the individual.
We have not failed to forgive; we are in need of further healing. When we recognize
and acknowledge that we have acted wrongly, God forgives us, but we might continue
to feel guilt or to find negative thoughts coming to mind. We have not refused forgiveness;
we are not completely healed.
If we think of forgiveness as something that we or others do regarding an injustice
or some other negative action, we are only considering part of what takes place.
The deeds or words were harmful, and we can turn away from the dis-ease of wrong-doing,
but our spirits have been affected. Every human situation that calls for forgiveness
also requires healing of spirit. Forgiveness and healing take place more rapidly
and more completely when we turn to God than when we “do it on our own.”
When we pray our way through an event of forgiveness, we encounter God who is love.
This love not only forgives the misdeeds, but enables us to identify wrong-doing
precisely as “not-of-God,” and to want instead to order our lives as children of
God. This is an experience of forgiveness. The same love of God that brings us to
forgiveness of others and of ourselves, moves on - if we do not stop the process
prematurely – to healing of our spirit.
When we bring to God not just the deeds, but the pain and confusion, the embarrassment
and fear, and all that moves spontaneously and uncomfortably within us, God’s love
heals us. It might seem selfish to go to God seeking to experience love when we
are aware either of the pain that others have caused us or the responsibility we
bear in having hurt others, but without this love we cannot be healed. When we seek
medical healing, we are not satisfied with an accurate diagnosis. We want to be
given a medicine or a process by which we might be restored to health. In seeking
healing of spirit, there is no better medicine than honest acceptance of God’s love
for our “enemies” and for us. There is no aspect of our humanity, whether of thought,
action, feeling, attitude, or emotion, that God cannot heal.
God’s love is not a “thing” but a Person – a Person who forgives and asks us to
forgive others, and who heals the broken-hearted.
Work-Around
If we need to light a fire, but there are no matches available in the house, we
might get a start by taking a piece of tightly rolled paper to the kitchen stove
and igniting it. Most of us have lacked one or more of the proper tools for some
job we were determined to complete, and improvised. We created a work-around that
was exactly suited to the circumstances.
Sometimes we need a work-around to accomplish a personal goal of an interior kind.
How many times have we had a positive experience with some activity, decided upon
a regular course of action, but did not follow through? For most of us, a moment
of desire does not translate into habitual action. We might have decided to stop
smoking, or begin eating more healthily, initiate a plan of regular exercise, take
time for regular prayer and reflection, or keep a spiritual journal, but made no
appreciable change to our ongoing behavior. Even a decision to take some time each
week for something personally satisfying might be surprisingly difficult even for
an otherwise well-organized person to implement in his or her own life. A work-around
is the connection between wanting something and bringing it to the level of an effective
habit.
For example, I found much satisfaction in doing some reading about spirituality,
so I determined to read similar articles and books on a regular basis. It did not
happen. I had not made the proper or realistic link between my sincere desire and
my accustomed habits. I needed a work-around - which was and is, to make “appointments”
in my personal calendar.
One person’s work-around might be to place a sticker on the bathroom mirror. For
another, writing a note in a daily or weekly calendar. In determining what action
to take in order to move from desire to implementation, we need to strategize. If
we want to begin exercising, we could think about and select a modest and realistic
length of time and mode of exercise, rather than choose an “ideal” norm that is
more wish than choice. A work-around is not only or primarily the words or notation
we make, but the process of honestly assessing our real interests and our real and
present limitations of time, energy, availability, and our preferences and habits.
God is the Master of every work-around that we might devise. We might not know ourselves
well enough to imagine the steps to take that will enable us to achieve our goals.
God knows us better than we know ourselves, so we can appropriately ask for deeper
awareness of our weaknesses and strengths, and for the inspiration to make honest
and realistic plans for moving forward with our lives. How could God refuse a request
for directions? Seeking a work-around draws us into a deeper and more honest relationship
with God.
Some of us have had thoughts occur that making a change or establishing a new behavior
is not worth the effort. Such thinking leads to inaction, of course. The beginning
of positive movement occurs – it is God at work in us – when we become aware of
a desire for becoming more, not for acquiring additional things. When we bring the
desire to prayer, we might still find in ourselves some inertia and resistance,
but we can insist on the reality of the movement within us, and keep reminding God
(and thereby ourselves) that we want to move forward. We have both a right and a
responsibility to keep growing in the direction that our inspirations lead us.
We use a work-around to accomplish something practical. What could be more practical
than developing our potential as children of God?
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Confusion and Love
The English word, confusion, combines two Latin words that mean “mix together” –
a rather bland expression. But an experience of confusion is not bland for us; rather,
confusion is a state of mind and emotions that we want to either avoid or bring
to an end as soon as possible. Being pulled this way and that by thoughts and accompanying
feelings is quite unpleasant. When we struggle with divergent and often incompatible
ideas, we can scarcely decide which way to go. When we need to make decisions, we
want to have clarity of mind, without hindrance from our emotions.
Confusion about motives, directions in life, values, ethics, or morals is understandable,
in that we can think of reasons on both sides of many important issues. But we cannot
choose our way arbitrarily; we need to know which option is better, and which is
not. We must find a way to break out of the darkness of confusion into the light
of a fitting resolution.
One kind of confusion is limited mostly to thoughts and to understanding, as when
a person of faith, with long-held ideas about the correct manner of expressing reverence
for God, encounters a different idea, represented by a trustworthy person. Such
confusion is often settled by “fusion:” recognizing a synthesis of two different
ideas about manifesting proper respect for God. There are many times when we come
to wider, deeper, broader understandings that enable us to resolve differences,
and bring our confusion to an end.
Confusion that touches upon our spirituality involves more than ideas. When some
irreconcilable thoughts are in our minds we are disturbed in spirit; we face real
contradictions, with felt distress and lack of interior peace. Confusion of this
sort is often experienced as a tearing apart within us, rather than a movement towards
unity. We cannot make an appropriate decision in this state of confusion. It is
enough to drive a person to prayer!
The fastest and most effective means for putting a stop to an experience of painful
confusion is not by throwing darts at a board – hardly a satisfactory decision-making
process. We can admit our confusion to God Our Lord, and thereby make two significant
steps at once. First, we stop being pushed and pulled by opposing thoughts, because
we name the experience for what it is: confusion – a temporary state of thinking
and feeling that must be stopped. And secondly, we make a connection with God who
loves us not just in our minds, but at every level of our being. Taking our confusion
to prayer and seeking release, healing, or whatever we need, is at least as effective
as when the signal lights are not working at an intersection and a police officer
holds up a hand towards oncoming traffic and signals “stop!” Order is restored where
a possibly dangerous conflict existed.
Would God not help when we present ourselves in a state of confusion? Will parents
let children remain in confusion without addressing their pain? Mothers and fathers
might not make all the decisions for children when they become confused, since they
need to grow in the exercise of their own gifts of mind and heart. But letting them
know that they are loved and trustworthy grounds them anew in a reality from which
they can make appropriate choices. When we go to God with our confusion, we will
not necessarily receive an instantaneous and clear decision, but we will be aided,
inspired, guided, and encouraged in the use of our faculties of mind and heart to
take an appropriate next step. Peace is a consequence of being in touch with God,
and confusion is an indication that we need to reach out to God.
Confusion is a temporary state that can provide an occasion for turning honestly
to God, rather than erroneously supposing that we can always do everything by ourselves.
Confusion, when it occurs, is an invitation to re-connect with the one reality that
underlies every small and great choice we make: towards or away from love.
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Lost
and Found
I do not like losing something – a key to the house, my wallet, or a message with
all the directions for attending and participating in a meeting. What a relief,
if I find it. I am not so scripturally oriented that I literally call my neighbors
together and ask them to rejoice with me over the item that was found. But I can
easily identify with the pleasure people take in finding what was lost.
Remembering an experience of what was lost and then found provides a means of appreciating
what it like to find a person who has been lost, or to become more aware of who
we are in some of our own incidences of having been lost, and then found. Recall
the words of the old Quaker hymn: “I once was lost, but now I’m found.” Or the Scripture
story about the father who welcomed back a wayward son who “was lost, but has been
found.” Finding and being found are experiences that have about them some fine decorations
of joy, not the rough dirt of regrets.
Many institutions, businesses, and public areas have a lost and found unit. These
are primarily for the sake of helping restore material possessions to their owners,
though many of us have heard an occasional announcement at a sporting event: “Will
the parents of a lost child please come to the red courtesy phone.” When we adults
recognize or acknowledge that we “feel lost,” or describe others as being lost,
we are not thinking about possessions or property, but the unpleasant experience
of being somehow separated from “home,” and not knowing the way back.
When we are lost as to the direction of our lives, we might not be frightened or
even aware of our situation at first. Perhaps we have experienced a period of having
little or no purpose to support even our routine daily activities. For some, a literal
loss of a job or a loved one, or involvement in some terrible experience such as
a personal injury or severe emotional setback can precipitate a sense of no longer
being safe at home in one’s heart and soul. Being lost and in need of either being
found, or of “finding ones’ self” is a serious condition, often more painful than
being geographically lost.
When we become aware that we or someone we know is lost for lack of a motive to
engage even the ordinary challenges of life, we do not need a Global Positioning
System to tell us where we are located on the earth, but we need a light in our
hearts that enables us to recognize who we are as beloved children of God. Being
found is the revelation to us of the positive meaning and purpose of our existence.
Many of us are “found” by caring for others. We become aware that the burden is
lifted, the darkness illuminated, and that we are “at home,” even in the midst of
stress and strain. Location is not the issue; loving is. We become deeply satisfied
when we recognize that we are engaged in the exercise of our gifts in service to
others. For many of us, we recover our purpose in life when we begin to do what
we know is right for us, no matter how disoriented we might feel. As teachers, we
make a positive difference for our students; as parents, we carry on the most important
vocation in human society; as listeners or visitors, we enliven those who feel that
they are alone; as donors, we contribute time, energy, and finances that allow others
to experience more fully their dignity as persons. We were lost, but now we are
found – by doing that for which we are fully equipped by God our creator and lover.
If we have ever been gladdened by recovering a sense of self that we had lost, imagine
how God feels when we, his beloved, are found. God rejoices when we come back to
our “home.” And what is our experience when we reflect on God’s pleasure at our
being found? Have we ever been touched when singing or hearing the words, “I once
was lost and now am found?” Our hearts resonate with words indicating our value
in God’s eyes, and in the recognition – however intuitive and inarticulate – of
our importance in the lives of others.
If we are not in the habit of calling together our friends to rejoice with us when
we find a lost object, we might also be shy to tell others of our personal experiences.
But we know, and do rejoice, that we who have at times been lost, have been found.
Thank you, dear God.
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This page last updated on March 22, 2008